"you know you've been in China far too long when..." - part I


  • You never ask "Why?" anymore.
  • You "do business".
  • You think Pizza Hut is high-class and worth queuing for.
  • You dream of getting a police officer or to work in the government.
  • You have learnt how to detect someone is in a hurry behind you, and now have the ability to not only walk very slowly but also grow eyes in the back of your head, so when they start to overtake on the right hand side, you automatically cut in and walk very slowly directly in front of them.
  • You see people outside wearing shower caps in the rain, and instead of thinking what a freak, you actually understand the practicality behind it. The same with clipping pegs on your trousers when riding a bike.
  • When you take a cab, you give play-by-play driving directions to the driver.
  • You feel cheated if you don't receive a full head and shoulder massage when getting a haircut.
  • You expect the rats took the sweets on your desk over night and not your colleague.
  • You eat three regular meals a day: lunch, dinner and night snacks.
  • You stop having opinions.
  • You answer every "Yes" or "No" question with "Maybe".
  • You think pink is "fashionable".
  • You ACTUALLY believe eating with your mouth open, making as much smacking noises with your mouth (making it a point to spittle over everything in front of you, beside you, and even behind you) is "good for your appetite".
  • Your work buddy taps you on the shoulder to talk to you, and you say "Bu Yan" (no thank you!) out of habit.
  • The footprints on the toilet seat are your own.
  • You no longer wonder how someone who earns US$ 400.00 per month can drive a Mercedes.
  • You believe everything you read in the local newspaper.
  • You would rather SMS someone than actually meet to talk 'face to face'.
  • You honk your horn at people because they are in your way as you drive down the sidewalk.
  • You haven't cut you finger nails in 8 weeks.
  • When car accidents become a source of heartwarming humour.
  • You understand all the above listed references.
  • source [shanghaiexpat.com]
    More to come!

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